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So, three years ago, I decided to declare February 14 Interplanetary Be Who You Are Day. If you don’t have the energy to click on that link, don’t worry, I’ll explain. But first, I would like to announce that in the spirit of inclusiveness, I am changing the name to Pan-Universal Be Who You Are Day. Now, not only extraterrestrial and extragalactic people but also alternate versions of ourselves can join our celebration! (Listen. You go ahead and start a holiday and see how hard it is to draw lines.)
So, there are a lot of things I don’t like about Valentine’s Day. For example, the working conditions of the people who grow our flowers. The muddy, murky issue of conflict diamonds. The child labor crisis in the chocolate industry. (I’m not actually trying to be depressing here! Just honest. The reality is depressing. I’m also not suggesting I’m any more innocent than anyone else. I love cut flowers, I love chocolate, and I have a diamond on my person at this very moment, and no, I am not always sure where it all comes/came from.)
Closer to home, I also don’t like this about Valentine’s Day: it tries to divide people up into two neat categories. (1) People who are madly in love and happy. (2) People who are single, sad, lonely, pathetic, and deserving of our pity.
Seriously? It’s so reductive! There are a gazillion kinds of people; there are a gazillion kinds of relationships and ways to live; there isn’t one good, happy way to be and one bad, sad way to be. Stop being so unimaginative, world!
Anyway. Hence: I’ve decided to rename February 14 Pan-Universal Be Who You Are Day. Here is an (incomplete!) list of people it is completely fine to be on this day (and every other day!):
- A person who is thinking about beginning a relationship but isn’t sure.
- A person who is thinking about ending a relationship but isn’t sure.
- A person who has decided to have a boyfriend and a shop on Etsy instead of a wife and a law degree, even though it will anger his mother.
- A person who has decided to have a cat and an emu instead of kids, even though it will baffle her father (and also the emu might bite him. Though the argument could be made that so might the kids).
- A person who is holding the hand of his lover who is about to have sex reassignment surgery.
- Children eating lollypops.
- A person who wants what she doesn’t want and doesn’t want what she wants and often can’t figure out what she wants and often can’t have what she wants and sometimes has what she doesn’t want and frankly feels RATHER UNSETTLED MUCH OF THE TIME.
- A person who’s in love with the Ryan Gosling Hey Girl Library tumblr.
- A person who’s in love with the Rachel Maddow Hey Girl tumblr.
- A person with a broken heart who is sobbing.
- A person who feels that just because a relationship ended, that doesn’t mean it failed.
- A person who would love to think about Valentine’s Day and his one true love, if only he hadn’t just gotten out of surgery and can’t move.
- A person who loves Valentine’s Day, wears pink, has heart socks, loves being in love, and has a big romantic day planned.
- A person who is helping her toddlers make their first valentines.
- A single parent who is trying to find the right partner. Also, a single parent who isn’t trying to find a partner, because they don’t want one.
- A person who’s in love with more than one person.
- A person who thinks he’ll never find anyone who understands him.
- A person who is recovering from a painful event and is nowhere near being ready to think about sharing herself with someone else.
- A single person who loves being single.
- A person in a traditional relationship.
- A Cylon who fell in love and consequently messed up someone else’s life by accident, because she didn’t know she was a Cylon. Listen, these things happen.
- A doctor and war veteran whose deepest love is a brilliant socially-maladaptive consulting detective who shoots holes in the wall when he’s bored.
- The third daughter in an early-20th-century aristocratic Yorkshire family who thinks she might be in love with the Irish revolutionary chauffeur, but it’s confusing, because it would be an enormous blow to her family, and also, he can kinda be a jerk sometimes.
- An author who might be watching too much TV?
- An extraterrestrial named Blorkybeans (loose translation) who is enjoying her post-heartbreak intergalactic port city cruise more than she expected to, because it turns out she’s good at making friends, even though her ex tried to convince her she wasn’t. Anyway, he looked like a glorpyplotch. (That’s like an extraterrestrial version of an octopus.)
Did I miss anyone?
Here are some links about buying fair trade and about how to avoid conflict diamonds. Thanks to Marc for suggesting the word “Pan-Universal” ^_^. Have a great holiday, everyone! Spread the news about Pan-Universal Be Who You Are Day to anyone who might want to celebrate it!